60 seconds: Okay, I’ve got this. It’s simple. Open your mouth, speak, close your mouth, walk away. Easy as pie. No problem. Don’t wait for any reaction, that’s where the trouble is. They react, and then you react. Just say your piece and shuffle on to buffalo, boyo.
55 seconds: Crap. Why did I sign up for this? I didn’t sign up really. I just decided. I can do it. It’s okay.
52 Seconds: I can’t do this.
48 Seconds: No, shut up. You can do this. You have to. No questions, just do it. They have to hear it, you have to say it – everything afterwards is none of your business – just say it.
44 Seconds: Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap shit damn crap.
41 Seconds: Calm yourself. Breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out. Focus. Now, what are you going to say?
40 Seconds: What am I going to say?!?!
39 Seconds: I had it all planned out. I had even drafted a few different ideas! I had put together certain points to hit, and certain phrases – I don’t want it to sound like I want a fight, I just wanted it to be short and on-point.
34 Seconds: Come on, breathe. Just remember the basics to start. What’s your name? Who is going to be here that you want to address? What is it that you want to convey?
30 Seconds: Alright, that’s not working. How about just your name?
27 Seconds: Remember to breathe. Just breathe and relax and it will all come naturally.
26 Seconds: I hope.
25 Seconds: You can still walk away. All you have to do it turn and go. Just run. Or even walk – at a fast pace, but a walk. There’s still dignity somewhere.
22 Seconds: Say you just wanted to give them your regards. NO! Say you wanted to talk to them about your future. Well, yes – but NO! Say ANYTHING ELSE!
20 Seconds: Last chance to run.
18 Seconds: I feel like my head is separate from my body.
16 Seconds: Shit. Eye contact.
15 Seconds: Breathe
12 Seconds: Okay. You’ve got this. I’ve got this.
10 Seconds: F.E.A.R. Fuck Everything And Run
7 Seconds: I know I had words at one point. What were they?
5 Seconds: What was I thinking? This won’t end well.
4 Seconds: What was I going to say?
3 Seconds: What was I going to do? Just walk up and say, “Hi”?…
2 Seconds: Not Hi – Hello
1 Second: Hi, Hello, How do you do?… Greetings? Salutations?