Being a musician, a writer, a painter, an artist – hell, being a PERSON – has its ups and downs. This I can attest to. Life is a rollercoaster of The Good, The Bad, and the WTF?…
This is Life as I know it.
It is this Life, the Life I’ve lived, the things I’ve seen and done, dreamed and chased, worried about and feared, failed and succeeded, taken pride or shame in – all these are the basic building blocks of not only who I am today, but of the music I create.
Is it really that simple?
No. Not even close.
Example: Who the hell is Mr. Tom, and what did he ever do to me?
Who is this Charlie character that is working his way into numerous songs that I’m writing?
Who am I referring to in the song In My Mind?
Well… The short answer is…
They are all fictional characters.
Yes. Fictional Characters.
Mr. Tom came to me as an idea; someone who stood for all the evil, greed, and bad in the world – from Wall Street to Cancer.
Charlie is someone that started off in short stories I wrote years ago – he is to me what Frank was to Tom Waits, what Tyler Durden was to Himself, what Harvey was to Elwood P. Dowd. He isn’t who I am, or what I want to be necessarily… He is just someone who goes on adventures, gets into trouble, and doesn’t understand that there is a filter between the brain and the mouth.
As for the person I’m singing to in the song In My Mind…
Her name is Jaenelle Angelline, and – you may have guessed – she is a fictional character. The song is, for me, from the point of view of one of the men who adored her – her adoptive father ~ Saetan Daemon SaDiablo.
By the way, if you haven’t read the Black Jewels Trilogy by Anne Bishop, and have a strong stomach, go read them. They are quite the journey, and they touch every aspect of Life – music, dancing, sex, violence, regret, revenge, beauty, power, love, hatred, food, and so on.
In my Life I have spent a lot of time with my nose in a book – and books have, of course, made an impression on me. I love writing songs for/about/with fictional characters. Why shouldn’t they have lives, too?
Same could be said for movies.
But, I’m getting off track.
I was talking about Life. Life. Life. Life.
If you’re looking for some kind of inspiration, just look at Life.
But, as I said, it does have its ups and downs…
I don’t know about any of you, but I’m not a big fan of the downs.
Anxiety, worry, depression, mistakes, regret, stupid decisions, trauma… And all that before my morning coffee!
No, really, this is a part of what I call my Life. I’m not happy about it, and I’m not proud of it (especially the bad decisions and regrets) – but they are there. These are all in my past, and (much to my chagrin) most of them are in my present in some way or another. For me, music helps me to work past it. To learn from my mistakes, to forgive myself or others, to not worry about thing that I have no control over, to help get me out of whatever has me depressed at that time.
Unless I’m depressed about music.
Then, I take a few days off and just eat. Food is good.
But, after anything more than a few days, I will force myself to pick up the guitar or banjo and just see what happens. I have to give her credit, my Lady will help me out of these slouches, too. Musical Depression or otherwise.
I hope she heard that in my Professor Frink voice…
So, with that, I will end this blog post.
I just want you (whomever you may be) to do something… Look around you, look at your Life and see what kind of story, song, painting, drawing, sculpture, poem, play, or anything you may create – look at your Life and see what can inspire you! You may be surprised…